“For I have never seen a man greater than his neighbor.”Michel de Montaigne · Eseuri · 1580 · I, 42
The honest comparison is between whole people, not between titles.
Montaigne dismantles the illusion of hierarchy as vanity. People differ in luck, position, and appearances, but in essence they share the same weaknesses, fears, and limits. The mechanism is simple: real comparison happens between whole people, not between titles. A manager who acts arrogant toward subordinates has the same sleepless nights and the same mistakes as they do; only the chair is bigger. Your neighbor is not smaller, just less displayed.
Montaigne does not merely say ranks are illusory. He offers a practical test: judge a person by how they behave when nobody is watching. Titles show up in the meeting room; character shows up in the kitchen. A boss who yells at his team but is charming with clients reveals where he truly stands. This changes respect: you give it to actions, not to positions. But how do you keep your dignity when you are the one being intimidated?
Passage 2: Intimidation dissolves when you change what you compare. Stop placing yourself next to the position and stand next to the whole person: a body that ages, sleep that escapes him, decisions he regrets at night. The baron and the peasant do the same things when they suffer: they ask for water, they fear, they err. Think of an exam: the professor judging you was once a trembling candidate too. When you see the person behind the role, fear of the role loses its grip. One question remains: if we are all equal in essence, what is still worth admiring?
Passage 3 answers the question left open: if rank does not separate people, admiration deserves to go elsewhere. Montaigne places it in the measure and moderation with which someone carries their own life. Not genius shouted in public, but the balance of ordinary things: knowing what you need, asking for no more, bearing hardship without drama. A woman who manages her household budget with clear eyes, without comparing herself to the neighbors, may be more admirable than a celebrated man who cannot govern himself. Admiration thus becomes a judgment you can make yourself, not one imposed by position. But if each person sets their own measure, how do we recognize a life well lived?
Why it matters Useful today for anyone intimidated by someone else's status, at work or on social media, to regain balance in the face of apparent authority.