“The gentleman demands of himself; the small man demands of others.”Confucius · Analecte · -450 · XV, 21
Where you aim your demands decides growth: at yourself means progress, at others means stagnation.
The difference between the two types of people lies in where the demands point. Those who demand of themselves control their own effort and mistakes, so they grow. Those who demand of others hand off responsibility and stay passive, forever disappointed. Example: a teacher who revises her lessons when students fail to understand, versus one who simply blames the weakness of the class.
Confucius notices something subtle: standards aimed at yourself are not a burden but a source of calm. If the mistake is mine, the fix is mine too — so I keep control. Whoever waits on others lives in constant waiting, always at their mercy. Think of a colleague who, after a failed presentation, notes what to rehearse before the next one, instead of blaming the room or the audience. He leaves with a plan; the other leaves with a grievance. A personal standard turns failure into information. And information, next, becomes daily practice.
Why it matters Useful in relationships and at work: it shifts the conversation from "why didn't others deliver" to "what can I do tomorrow".