“The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”Victor Hugo · Mizerabilii · 1862 · Partea a IV-a, cartea a VIII-a, capitolul III
Love that doesn't withdraw at failure is the only kind that allows a stable identity.
Love that depends on performance stays fragile, because every failure puts it in doubt. Knowing that someone wants you near in spite of your weaknesses removes the fear of abandonment and allows a stable sense of self. A child who knows his parents love him even when the grades are bad grows up with a security that no later success can replace.
Why it matters Useful in relationships: it helps you tell the difference between being valued for your usefulness and being loved as a person.