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When we refuse praise, we actually want to be praised even more.

François de La Rochefoucauld · Maxime · 1665 · Maxima 1491 minute readpublic domain
When we refuse praise, we wish to be praised twice.François de La Rochefoucauld · Maxime · 1665 · Maxima 149

Rejecting a compliment is a subtle invitation to receive it again, with greater force.

La Rochefoucauld reveals a subtle stratagem of vanity: refusing a compliment with modesty is an invitation for it to be repeated more insistently. For example, if someone says, 'No, I didn't do much,' they actually hope the other person will insist, 'Yes, you did a lot!'

Why it mattersIt helps us be honest with ourselves about our need for validation and to notice the same need in others.

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Cycle of hidden vanity.

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