olivlawolivlaw

From books

Ambitious perfectionism paralyzes us: whoever refuses to accept their own limits never manages to live at all.

Henri-Frédéric Amiel · Jurnalul intim · 1882 · 18511 minute readpublic domain
What prevents me from living is that I cannot resign myself not to be everything.Henri-Frédéric Amiel · Jurnalul intim · 1882 · 1851

Whoever wants to be everything chooses nothing, and without choices nothing gets lived.

Amiel, who kept a journal for decades while publishing almost nothing, names the trap of boundless ambition. Whoever wants to be everything chooses nothing, because every choice means giving something up. Real life asks you to accept being someone particular, with a particular talent, in a particular time. A student who postpones specializing because she wants to keep every door open finds, at thirty, that no door is open.

Amiel shows something subtler than mere procrastination: the journal itself was a way of living from the outside. He recorded everything, but recorded instead of acting. Documenting a life can become a substitute for it. Think of someone who reads ten articles about running before ever stepping out the door. Accumulated knowledge gives a feeling of progress without risk. But risking is precisely what gives shape to a particular self. To decide means to expose yourself to failure, and the perfectionist postpones exposure. The next question, then: what does a choice look like when made without the illusion of being everything?

Why it mattersUseful to anyone postponing major decisions in the name of an ideal version of their life: career, relationships, creative projects.

Refusing yourlimitsChoosing nothingParalysis,postponed life
The causal chain of ambitious perfectionism

Shelves

Back to the feed