“Love knows no measure, but is beyond all measure.”Thomas à Kempis · Imitațiunea lui Cristos · 1418 · cartea III, capitolul 5
The moment you keep score of what you give, you have stopped loving.
Thomas à Kempis writes from the Christian mystical tradition, where love for God cannot be divided rationally between what deserves more and what deserves less. The logic is simple: any love that keeps accounts is already a transaction, not love. Whoever forgives only up to a point, or gives only what will come back, has measured everything before feeling anything. A parent keeping watch all night at a sick child's bedside does not weigh the cost; the giving flows from what they are, not from what they calculate.
Kempis shows that keeping score is not merely a sign of cooling love; it changes the nature of the relationship itself. When I measure what I give, the person before me becomes a contract partner, not someone loved. Love that is rationed turns a gift into a deferred payment. Think of the neighbor who helps you move, then reminds you of every favor you owe. The help was real, but something hardened between you. The next step is to see why a calculating mind cannot even sense correctly what ought to be given.
Why it matters Useful whenever we catch ourselves negotiating how much to give — in a marriage, a friendship, or a cause. The line warns us that keeping score is a sign the love has cooled.